From Engineering Manager to IC: A Reflective Journey

In early 2024, I made a decision that surprised many of my colleagues: I stepped back from managing 30+ engineers across multiple squads to return to being a Senior Software Engineer. This wasn't a demotion or career setback—it was a deliberate choice born from deep reflection about what energizes me and where I can create the most impact.

The Context: Why I Became a Manager

Like many engineers, I didn't set out to become a manager. It happened organically:

2018: Started as a Fullstack JavaScript Developer at Warung Pintar

2019: Became the primary developer for 90% of our React Native app

2021: Promoted to Technical Lead when the team needed someone to coordinate engineering efforts

2022: Transitioned to Engineering Manager when we scaled from 10 to 30+ engineers

Each promotion felt natural, I was solving problems, helping teammates, and the organization needed leadership. I was good at it, too. Our teams consistently achieved the highest engagement scores company-wide.

But being good at something doesn't automatically mean it's your calling.

The Realization: Energy vs. Drain

The turning point came during a particularly intense quarter at eFishery. I was managing 8 engineers across growth marketing initiatives, coordinating with product managers, handling performance reviews, and trying to maintain technical context across multiple projects.

I realized I was energized by certain aspects of the role:

Technical architecture discussions

Mentoring junior engineers through specific coding challenges

Solving complex frontend performance problems

Building psychological safety in teams

But I was consistently drained by:

Budget planning and resource allocation meetings

Long-term strategic planning (6+ months out)

Performance improvement plans and difficult conversations

Context switching between 8+ different projects

The Psychology Behind the Switch

My background in psychology helped me recognize what was happening. I was experiencing what researchers call "role conflict"—when your personal values and natural strengths don't align with role expectations.

Intrinsic Motivation vs. External Validation

As a manager, much of my validation came from external sources:

Team performance metrics

Engagement survey results

Feedback from upper management

As an IC, validation comes more directly from:

Code quality and system performance

Solving complex technical problems

Direct user impact from features I build

The Maker vs. Manager Schedule Problem

Paul Graham's essay on "Maker's Schedule, Manager's Schedule" resonated deeply. I thrive in long, uninterrupted blocks of time where I can dive deep into problems. Management, by nature, is interrupt-driven.

I was spending most of my energy managing interruptions rather than creating solutions.

The Transition Process

1. Honest Self-Assessment

I used a framework I learned from psychology training:

Values Assessment: What do I care most about?

Building systems that help people work better

Solving complex technical problems

Mentoring through direct collaboration

Creating psychological safety in teams

Strengths Assessment: What am I naturally good at?

Systems thinking and architecture

Frontend performance optimization

Cross-cultural communication

Teaching complex concepts simply

Energy Assessment: What gives vs. drains my energy?

Energizes: Deep technical work, pair programming, solving user problems

Drains: Administrative tasks, long-term planning, resource negotiations

2. Communication Strategy

I was transparent with my team and leadership about my decision:

"I want to contribute where I can have the most impact. For me, that's building exceptional user experiences and mentoring through direct technical collaboration."

This wasn't framed as "I don't want to be a manager anymore" but "I want to optimize for where I can create the most value."

3. Transition Plan

We structured a 3-month transition:

Month 1: Shadow my replacement while maintaining team relationships

Month 2: Transfer institutional knowledge and ongoing projects

Month 3: Begin focusing full-time on technical contributions

Lessons Learned

1. Career Growth Isn't Always Upward

Traditional career paths suggest: IC → Tech Lead → Engineering Manager → Director. But growth can also be:

IC → Senior IC → Staff Engineer → Principal Engineer

IC → IC + Technical Mentoring Role

IC → IC + Cross-Team Architecture Role

The key is finding a path that aligns with your strengths and values.

2. Management Skills Transfer to IC Work

The leadership skills I developed didn't disappear:

Psychological safety: Now I create it within development teams

Communication: I explain technical decisions more clearly to stakeholders

Systems thinking: I approach code architecture with organizational context

Mentoring: I pair program with junior developers more effectively

3. Impact Doesn't Require Authority

As a manager, impact came through team performance. As a senior IC, impact comes through:

Technical excellence: Building systems that scale and perform

Knowledge sharing: Teaching patterns that improve team productivity

Cross-team collaboration: Bridging technical and product discussions

Cultural influence: Modeling good practices without formal authority

The Results: 6 Months Later

Professional Satisfaction

My energy and engagement levels are significantly higher. I wake up excited about technical challenges and end the day feeling accomplished.

Recent wins:

Reduced app performance (LCP) by 66% through systematic optimization

Built a cross-application notification system that improved user engagement

Mentored 3 junior engineers who are now contributing to complex features independently

Career Opportunities

Contrary to concerns about "career regression," returning to IC work has opened new doors:

Speaking opportunities about technical leadership

Consulting requests for performance optimization

Job opportunities with "Staff Engineer" or "Principal Engineer" titles

Personal Growth

The transition taught me:

Authenticity over expectation: Following your energy is more sustainable than meeting external expectations

Multiple paths to impact: Leadership doesn't require formal management

Self-awareness as career strategy: Understanding your strengths is more valuable than climbing traditional ladders

Advice for Others Considering Similar Transitions

If You're an IC Considering Management:

Ask yourself:

Do you get energized by helping others grow (vs. growing systems)?

Are you comfortable with ambiguous, long-term problems?

Do you enjoy coordinating work more than doing work directly?

Try before committing:

Mentor junior engineers

Lead cross-team technical initiatives

Participate in hiring and onboarding

If You're a Manager Considering IC Work:

Evaluate honestly:

What specific aspects of management energize vs. drain you?

Do you miss hands-on technical work?

Are you managing because you're good at it or because you love it?

Plan the transition:

Communicate openly with leadership about your motivations

Identify how your management skills can enhance your IC contributions

Consider "technical leadership" roles that blend both tracks

The Broader Context: Indonesia's Tech Industry

Making this transition in Indonesia's startup ecosystem has unique considerations:

Cultural Expectations: There's often pressure to continuously "move up" hierarchically. Explaining lateral moves requires clear communication about value creation.

Market Opportunities: Senior IC roles are growing in Indonesia as companies recognize the need for technical depth alongside management breadth.

Remote Work Advantages: Global remote opportunities value technical expertise highly, making senior IC paths more viable.

Looking Forward

I'm not ruling out management forever. But now I know what energizes me and where I can create the most impact. If I return to management, it will be from a place of strength and clarity, not default career progression.

The future of tech careers is less about climbing ladders and more about building expertise in areas where you can create unique value.

Final Reflections

This transition taught me that career fulfillment comes from alignment—when your daily work matches your natural strengths, personal values, and energy patterns.

For some people, management is that alignment. For others, like me, it's diving deep into technical problems while helping teams succeed through excellence rather than authority.

The key is honest self-assessment and the courage to make choices based on authenticity rather than external expectations.

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Have you made unconventional career transitions in tech? I'd love to hear your story and the lessons you learned. Connect with me on [LinkedIn](https://linkedin.com/in/syanmil) or [email me](mailto:syanmil@gmail.com).